Who is Where in the Room?

By Elaine L. Orr

Though I wrote stories and poems as a young person, when I began more serious writing I went with plays or (how bold of me!) movie scripts. I realized books could have a wider audience. While I've written a one-act play fairly recently, I veered to novels.

However, the play-writing taught me something valuable. Two things, really. The first was how to write dialogue that said what I wanted when I wanted it, and nothing more. That doesn't mean a character can't be long-winded, only that if s/he is, it should be who they are -- not simply that I can't write concisely.

Perhaps even more important is blocking a scene -- yes, in a book. In a play, the writer has to be aware of where every character is and what they are doing on stage. You can't just leave someone sitting on a couch while all action focuses on two or three other characters. You can if the couch sitter is meant to eavesdrop. You can't if you simply don't know what else to do with them.

I learned to keep track of every character in a novel's scene and -- more important -- let readers know what s/he/they were doing even if they weren't the focus of the action. 

For example, my WIP is Phoning in a Murder, set in the fictional Ocean Alley and the 14th book in the Jolie Gentil series. The partial scene below is in the high school auditorium, just before the start of a contentious meeting about the school band. 

From Jolie's point of view:

The few people in the room were talking loudly enough for me to hear snatches of conversations. Generally, it was male voices that came through.

“…expects us to drive the kids to practice every…”

“…I haven’t missed any of the competitions…”

“…a lot of nerve to cancel…”

“…raised more than $500 for those buses…”

Scoobie had been listening, too. “Oh, boy.”

I shrugged. “It’s what I expected. You and I work at the co-op day care. We know how to tell people to pipe down if they get too rowdy.”

“Pipe down? Rowdy? You sound like Aunt Madge.” Terry looked toward the back of the room. “There’s George.”

“Is Ramona with him?”

Terry craned his neck. “I don’t think so. I see Kevin and some of the guys.” He moved toward a back corner.

“If Kevin’s here,” Scoobie said, “I wonder if his favorite uncle is.”

I turned toward the front. “I bet Sergeant Morehouse has better things to do.”

The scene establishes which of the key characters are present and mentions one who is not. Jolie and her husband Scoobie are together, initially Scoobie's brother, Terry, is with them. George is Scoobie's best friend, and Ramona (his girlfriend and Jolie's friend) could be expected to be there. Sergeant Morehouse is a key player in the book -- good to know what he's up to. (He shows up later.)

My offbeat humor has George explain why Ramona's not there.

“Where’s Ramona?” I asked.

“I’m not supposed to tell you she isn’t interested in high school food fights.”

“What are you supposed to say?” Scoobie asked.

George grinned. “Something about planning how to arrange paintings for the next showing at her art gallery.”

An author can simply say where a person is, but I prefer to show things through action or dialogue. That isn't always possible.

Note the above is written in first person, so the reader only knows what Jolie knows. If a book is in third person, there may be more description, or even a narrator who says who is where and what they're doing.  

I prefer to keep the reader guessing along with the sleuth.

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