Sometimes paragraph-speak is part of one character’s
persona. When they all talk like that it comes across as an author’s character
flaw.
That doesn’t mean short bursts of conversation are
essential. In fact, when characters talk as if they’re in a snappy sitcom, that
doesn’t seem very genuine either. So what makes for fluid, natural
conversation?
In a screenwriting course with the late theater director Davey
Marlin-Jones (more years ago than I care to admit) he stressed a key point. People
talk in spurts and they interrupt each other a lot. They talk over each other
and they finish each other’s sentences. Maybe not in Shakespearean plays, but in today’s
world.
- Would it take more than one breath to get it out?
- If two or three sentences are essential, can some natural movement break up those words? After all, we rarely sit with our hands in our laps.
- Can spoken information be revealed another way?
- What is the person listening to the speaker doing? Can their action or expression alternate with the speaker’s words?
- Would I (or others in the room with the character) be willing to listen to someone go on and on without interrupting them? If not, why would the reader want to put up with that?·
For every reason to use natural speech patterns, there are requisite
opportunities for some characters to be windbags. If there is scientific
evidence to present, an investigator would probably let the medical examiner
present it. Even then, if you watch Law
and Order, you’ll see the detectives pepper the ME with questions. She does
tell them to be quiet and let her finish sometimes.
In a couple of books I’ve had a funeral scene. No one
interrupts a priest or rabbi (usually), but a character listening to the talk
can have a thought of their own in the middle of the soliloquy.
I had a lot of fun
with the editor’s eulogy in FromNewsprint to Footprints. The deceased was a jerk. Every time a former
colleague made a well-crafted, tactful comment, the protagonist (Melanie) had a
thought about what the editor was really like.
"A lot of small papers have closed or cut
back to one day a week. The News is
still at three days, and Hal hired dedicated staff to cover events in our
community."
He also
fired a lot of them.
"As we move forward to serve the people
of South County, everyone at the paper will use the skills Hal taught us."
Except
no one else will throw staplers.
Structuring the eulogy that way let me convey some needed information
without putting readers to sleep. Plus it gave me a chance to have some fun.
I honed my dialogue-writing skills in several screenwriting
classes. The screenplays I wrote weren’t very good, but reading them aloud as I
wrote taught me more than any books.
If an author isn’t sure their own reading aloud will provide
enough distance to evaluate conversations, they can ask a friend to read, or
speak into a recorder and listen. There’s a good chance the characters’ words
will take on a life of their own.
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Check out Elaine's web page, sign up for her classes, or receive her newsletter.