Monday, February 28, 2022

From Resolving Childhood Conflict to Peace

My parents made many smart decisions about how their kids should behave. They were the opposite of mellow in many respects, but they approached parenting calmly. They were also older when they had their first kid (29 and 36, which was almost elderly in 1951). That maturity may have been their guide.

Their egos weren't involved in parenting or our behavior, they just figured out the best way to do things. They may not have always agreed, but they didn't argue about it in front of us.

Their best decision? If we squabbled, my mom would say, "Oh, brothers and sisters don't fight." Then she'd point us to a way to resolve what we were arguing about. 

A child psychologist might say she reduced our ability to resolve conflict, but that would be incorrect. We all talk first, no matter the life situation. And we five are close friends.

Since I can't clone my parents' philosophy (or insert it in the parents of political leaders) I've done what I always do when I have a problem. I look to books.

Here are some articles or books about helping children resolve conflict and, more broadly, talking about what peace looks like.

Say What's Wrong and Make it Right    Amazon    Barnes and Noble

Please feel free to put other examples in the Comments section. 

Peace be with you.

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1 comment:

  1. I remember meeting a certain relative and their kids long ago. The kids argued constantly and called one another horrible names. I observed that my parents would never have allowed my sister and me to talk to one another like that. My sister and I have remained friends. I don’t recall that those four ever resolved their differences. I used to ask my own kids, “Can you think of a better way to say that?” when they popped off at one another or even at me. If they couldn’t, I made suggestions. Conflict resolution is a very important skill whether it’s on an individual or a national scale.