Avoiding He-Said and She-Said

By Elaine L. Orr

It goes without saying (but I will) that authors want readers to know who is doing the talking in their books. There are ways to do that well and ways to distract your reader from your story by doing it clumsily.

A couple of points.

1) If you have to ascribe conversation to a character, consider doing it by beginning the segment with action, then have the character speak. For example:

I didn’t smile. “Those aren’t ready yet. How about a pumpkin muffin? You can pay me tomorrow.” 

From the kitchen, Linda called, “Always a pleasure for a good customer.”

2) The similar option to avoid is using action and also specifying who said something. 

Mr Hawthorne," I said, taking a hammer from the toolbox, "it's time to find that box of nails."

3) It is often appropriate to simply say he said or she asked. I use this at  least a couple times in each chapter when writing in first person. I asked, I said.  The key is not to do this many times a page. Or designate the speaker by name, just not every time.

4) Clarity is key, of course. When two people converse, a reader can follow who said what for a number of lines of dialogue -- as long as each person's dialogue begins a new paragraph.

5) When more than two people converse, it's important to ascribe almost every person's speech -- within reason. If one character asks another a question and they answer, it's generally clear who replied.

6) My personal pet peeve is authors who try to convey emotion when designating the character talking. This usually involves adverbs, the bane of good writing.

"It's time to go to the parade," Jan said, gleefully.

"Funerals always make me cry," I said sorrowfully.

Remember the adage, show don't tell. Jan can turn a somersault to show her glee.

By the way, when it's your book, do what you want. Just keep the reader in mind.

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To learn more about Elaine, visit her website or sign up for her newsletter.

Copyright and Learning to Write in the Age of Artificial Intelligence

By Elaine L. Orr

Every author I know has wondered how AI will affect the publishing world and how our work could be used without our permission. Note I said 'used,' not republished.

We've heard about artificial intelligence (AI) for years. What has changed is the more recent advent of generative AI that creates text (books, in our case), images, videos, or music. It trains by 'reading' our work. 

I recently joined the Copyright Alliance, which has many resources on the broader topic as well as excellent materials and videos on AI and its impact on authorship. It's free, always a good thing. I've learned a lot.

What Does ChatGPT do With My Writing?

ChatGPT has learned well from analyzing my work. I asked it: Can you write something in the style of Elaine Orr's Jolie Gentil cozy mysteries?

ChatGPT said: Got it — you’d like something in the style of Elaine Orr’s Jolie Gentil cozy mysteries. Those books usually feature:

• A small-town setting (Ocean Alley on the Jersey Shore).

• A smart, witty amateur sleuth (Jolie, an appraiser and reporter).

• A circle of friends and community members who add humor, warmth, and sometimes conflict.

• A mystery that’s light on gore, with clues tucked into daily life.

• Plenty of banter, food, and small-town gossip.

I can create a fresh cozy mystery concept (not copying Orr, but inspired by the tone and structure). Here’s a short sample opening that could grow into a series:

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Sample Cozy Mystery Opening (in the style of Jolie Gentil books)

Chapter One – Baking to Death

The ChatGPT sample went on with a brief chapter 1. Not bad, though I stay away from things such as cupcakes and other baking -- they're somewhat overused, and I'm a lousy cook.

I asked ChatGPT a couple of other questions about how it would develop characters or story lines, and was shocked not just at the decent responses but the speed. Scary good.

All of this was free, but after a couple more questions, I reached the end of the free...speculation, for lack of a better word.

What Does ChatGPT tell you about what it's doing?

Note some of the phrasing in the the above. It said, "Got it — you’d like something in the style of Elaine Orr’s Jolie Gentil cozy mysteries.?" The italics were theirs, I suppose somehow saying they aren't directly ripping off my work? And I suppose they aren't.

Can You Use ChatGPT to learn about writing?

The system (I don't know the neutral reference for an AI program!) also develops outlines, character sketches, clues, character arcs and more. If you were a novice writer, you could tell it to write a mystery about (for example) "a couple in a mountain town who discover buried treasure and are pursued by the people who buried it."

In fact, I just told it that. This was the response:

Here’s a short mystery story draft based on your idea:

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The Treasure in Ashwood

The mountain town of Ashwood was the kind of place where snow muffled sound, and secrets lay deeper than the pine roots. Emma and Daniel, a young couple fresh from the city, thought they were starting over when they bought the old Miller cabin. They hadn’t counted on what they’d find buried beneath the sagging porch.

It was Daniel who uncovered it first—a rusted tin box, sealed tight with wire. Inside, wrapped in oilcloth, lay stacks of old bills and a small velvet pouch filled with raw gemstones that shimmered even in the weak afternoon light. Neither spoke for a long moment. The silence between them wasn’t awe—it was fear. Someone had buried this. And someone might come looking.

That night, the wind howled across the ridges, and Emma swore she saw headlights lingering too long on the road below. By morning, muddy bootprints trailed near the cabin, leading back toward the tree line.

They decided to keep the treasure hidden, but word in Ashwood spread quicker than frost. At the diner, an old logger leaned across the counter and muttered, “Best bury back what ain’t yours. Folks around here remember where they left things.”

Soon, strangers began to appear—two men in heavy coats, asking questions, their eyes too sharp, their smiles too thin. Emma recognized one of them from an old photo in the town archives: a man declared dead twenty years ago in a mine collapse.

The couple realized the treasure wasn’t forgotten loot—it was blood money, hidden away by men who had never really left. Now they were being hunted, not just for the cash, but for knowing a secret meant to stay buried.

And in Ashwood, the mountains kept their own kind of justice.

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Would you like me to expand this into a full-length short story (3–5k words) with detailed scenes, dialogue, and a twist ending, or keep it more like a tight novella-style mystery outline you can build on?

Yikes!

Then you could pick either option they provide or just exit. It took ChatGPT about five seconds to write this short piece.

I note you can learn from ChatGPT because you could tell it to develop the novella-style outline and see how it does it. 

People use generative AI for many things, but it still shocked me that it could write a story and do it so fast. 

If you've used it, feel free to comment. 

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To learn more about Elaine, visit her website or sign up for her newsletter.